So, you’re in a long-distance relationship and you’re looking for ideas on keeping this relationship alive. Maintaining a long-distance relationship is never easy (but then again, is a normal distance relationship easy?).
Your friends and family may discourage you. Things grow complicated and you may feel sad or lonely. Here are
some tips on dealing with a long-distance relationship.
1) Avoid Too Much Communication
You don’t have to be clingy or be in constant communication with one another. This can lead to feelings that you don’t trust him, so you’re always checking in to see what he’s doing and who he’s with.
2) Use the Opportunity to Learn
Use the distance as a learning opportunity. Someone once said, “If you want to live
together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” And that’s true. Believe that this long-distance experience is bringing you closer together rather than tearing you apart.
3) Do Things Together
With the advent of modern cell phones, you can both take a walk while using video
calling. You can Skype and chat face-to- face or go online shopping together, maybe to find the most perfect Christmas gifts. Play online games or watch the same things on Netflix or YouTube at the same time. Be creative in thinking up things you can do together.
4) Set Ground Rules Early
On You both need to understand what you want out of the relationship and set some
ground rules to help meet your expectations. Are you going to be exclusive, or is casual dating of others locally okay? And it’s best that you’re both open and honest about your expectations.
5) Communicate Creatively
One thing you must do is say “good morning” and “good night” every day. You can
do this using text emoji, short video clips, or a voice recording. You can do the same thing to update your significant other about what’s going on during your day.
6) Talk Sexy to Each Other
Sexual desire is an integral part of any relationship, so phone sex or sexting should
be part of your routine. Send text teasers or spend time late at night discussing what you’d like to do to the other person. Have fun with this.
7) Stay Away from Dangerous Situations
If you know going out to the bar might upset your partner, you have two choices. Either don’t go or tell your partner before you go so you can reassure him that all is okay. Understand he may be upset thinking that you’re putting him in a situation that he can’t control. And it might be easy for you to fall into the trap of hanging out with an attractive person from work or someone who may have flirted with you in the past. Use your mind, not your heart, in these situations.
8) Make Time to Visit
You’ll certainly want to make time to physically visit one another. This is the highlight of any long-distance relationship, so make it count. You’ll finally get to hold hands, kiss, and take part in all those important relationship needs.
9) Have a Mutual Goal
Discuss how long you’ll have to be apart, what expectations you have for where your relationship will go in the future, and what it is you want to achieve. Truly, no one can have a long-distance relationship forever; you’ll either be together eventually or you and will drift apart. Make a plan and draw up a timeline. It’s important that you’re both on the same page here.
10) Give Something to Remind Him
You might give him a ring or necklace you always wear so he had something tangible to remind him of you. Maybe he’ll leave you a couple of his shirts, something that smells like him, to give you something to hold on to when you feel lonely.
11) Don’t Hold in Your Emotions
Long-distance relationships suck, and sometimes you’ll get overly emotional about it. But don’t try to hold those feelings in, and especially don’t try to hide them from your significant other. Share your feelings so your partner has the opportunity to comfort you like he would if he was there.
12) Keep the Honesty
Be honest with one another. Using phone calls or text as your major communicators, the other person has no observable body language to use in conversation. Body language is more important than you think to human interaction, and without that, things just seem black and white. Keep honest and your partner will know you’re
always being honest with him.
Long-distance relationships do suck, but with today’s technology, and a few tips, you can certainly make them work, either short- or long-term. Using video chat or voice messaging, you can feel that you’re a little closer to your partner no matter the miles that separate you. Plan your visits and make the most of every moment you’re together.
Be honest and open with your partner. These tips will all help you to make the most of your long-distance relationship.
Ima Matthew is a final year student of the University of Calabar. She is a writer, blogger, and aspiring film director. She is on Facebook.